Thursday, December 08, 2011

Algebraic Poetry

Good news all around!

1) My volunteer application was accepted for the AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) Conference and Bookfair this spring in Chicago. There are still time slots open, if you'd like to volunteer.

2) I'm assistant teaching an undergraduate film class at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago this spring. I believe there are still slots open for the class, as well, which is on Latin American film studies. It should be great – I'm looking forward to it in a state of barely-continent excitement.

3) Ham and egg nog season is here! Gift shopping is pretty relaxing in my family, as we've made the following rule: You only get a present if you're not old enough to drink yourself through the holiday. We've been doing this for a while now, and it's gone over rather well.

Can't be all good news: Rick Santorum said the other day that we should eliminate food stamps because of the obesity epidemic, once again supporting my theory: Rick Santorum Doesn't Understand How Anything Works.

And, finally, some more selections from my upcoming imaginary collection, tentatively titled, "Poems that Barely Make Sense."

L = [P^S x (TxB)] / X
or, L equals P to the power of S, multiplied by T and B, divided by X.
In which:
L = Love
P = Petals of the Heart
S = sickly peeling
T = Tongue, torn out by its Roots
B = Brain, blistered and burning
X = Buried in the Sand at Low Tide

An Exercise in Mathematic Cinema from Carl Sagan's Poetic Encyclopedia of Pornography
(L+C) x V = (OxS) / P
or, L plus C multiplied by V equals O multiplied by S divided by P.
In which:
L = Lateral Illumination
C = Concentration of Light
V = A certain phallic vegetable
O = Curvature
S = Smoothness
P = Stinky pink fingers

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